Denial
by DarkAngstScary
Summary: Non-yaoi. Just as the title says. Three ex-pilots are in denial about their female counterparts.


[Don't think you got me girl,  
  
Don't think you can tame me and change me,  
  
Don't think that it's all because of you]  
  
"Relena."  
  
The name was said with a curse, yet at the same time with reverence. He was not changing. It wasn't because of her. Being a perfect soldier meant changing to fit the circumstances, and in the time of peace, that's exactly what he had done. It was his job, nothing more.  
  
She was not the source of all these churning emotions. It was not because of her.  
  
Liar.  
  
Maybe she did have a hand in making him feel more human, more like he actually belonged in the time of peace. So what? He was changed, but essentially still the same. And he changed in order to fit the times. Not because of her and certainly not because he felt something for her.  
  
He did not feel.  
  
Not ever.  
  
[Just because I don't run around,  
  
Just because we're forever together,  
  
Don't you think of a four letter word to use . . .]  
  
Sally glanced at Wufei. What did he think of her?  
  
When they first started the partnership, he had been the same arrogant, chauvinistic overbearing Wufei. Now it seemed, at least to her, he was different. Okay , so maybe he was still arrogant and overbearing, but now he was willing to give the idea that women could be equals a thought. When it came down to business, Wufei trusted her. He trusted that a women had the ability to back him up and give him help when needed. Not that he would say that out loud of course.  
  
She knew he didn't date, and it seemed like the two of them been together forever. They acted practically like a couple; in fact they lived together. What was he thinking?  
  
Not that , she amended hastily to herself, that she thought Wufei loved her, but maybe he liked her just a little bit.........  
  
What the hell, Sally thought.  
  
"Wufei, I know that you might be still be grieving for your wife. But I know that we been living together and I know that you don't go out on dates. I need know why. Just one simple sentence."  
  
A voice buried deep deep inside her head whispered the rest of the sentence. Is it because you love me?  
  
Wufei gave her only the darkest glares, and walked out. The sound of door slamming reverberated throughout the room.  
  
[So what if I just don't want anybody else but you,  
  
So what if you're all that I ever really wanna do,  
  
I know what you're thinkin' but that doesn't make it true . . .  
  
Believe me baby!!!]  
  
So what if he didn't go out on dates? So what if he rather be in her company? Was that a crime? It, Wufei thought to himself, wasn't because he loved her. No. He was incapable of love. He was a warrior who shouldn't be hindered by such weakness. He was NOT in love with Sally Po.  
  
On the other side.........  
  
He was NOT in love with Relena Peacecraft. So what if he protected her with his own life? What of it? It was his duty and mission. So what if he didn't have any plans of that changing soon? That Relena Peacecraft never had time to met other guys gave him a tinge of pleasure? Maybe because of his dedication to her, and only her, she was getting ideas. But it was crystal clear in his mind what he thought of her. Yeah, all day long.  
  
But he was NOT in love.  
  
[I'm not in love,  
  
No not at all,  
  
What makes you think,  
  
You made me fall,  
  
I slip but no I'm not in love . . .]  
  
"Denial, Denial. Would it kill him to even admit that he loves me? Say that measly four-letter word?" Hilde muttered to herself. "But no, he says he glad to see me."  
  
"Baka. I go out past the time I specified, and he's at home interrogating me. If he doesn't love me, then why the hell is he doing this to me? He's driving me crazy!"  
  
Duo leaned against the wall. He heard what Hilde said. But he was merely concerned with her well-being, not that four letter word. If he did, he would hurt again. Sometimes, he might let his guard down, especially when _she_ was around, but he definitely was NOT in love.  
  
[What if I just can't sleep at night,  
  
I see your face in the starry skies,  
  
So high above,  
  
But, girl I'm not in love . . .]  
  
When the carnage raged around him, fire and destruction, why did he see her face? She may be the ideal for the future, where no more innocent civilians should die, and war would wage no more. Is that why it was her face he saw under the influence of ZERO? Not only then though. When the sky was full of twinkling stars, even he felt peaceful, but from an image he saw in bright starry sky. She once told him a simple request. To give notice before he left. He couldn't even fulfill that simple wish. True, it was war.  
  
What was he thinking?  
  
Was he trying to explain his actions?  
  
What was with the image of her laughing blue eyes haunting him?  
  
Was this the emotion called love?  
  
Ridiculous.  
  
  
  
[Don't think you got it made,  
  
Don't think it's to easy to keep me,  
  
Never know it could all just fade away . . .]  
  
Relena, Hilde, Dorothy and Sally sat in Relena's parlor room talking. The five met and had a quasi sort of friendship due to their connections to the gundam pilots. Specifically though, the girls were talking about the gundam pilots.  
  
Relena stirred the spoon in her teacup. "I mean, you can't change the perfect soldier. Maybe it is impossible. Sometimes, when I push him, he gives me that "I'll will kill you" look, and I back off. I know that I can meet him on his terms, but.......I don't want to risk losing him. Having him disappear for weeks, months, most probably years." She looked at the other girls.  
  
"That sounds really lame and stupid doesn't it?"  
  
Dorothy's mouth started to form a sarcastic remark, just like the old days, but she shut her mouth quickly and began again. "Quatre was sort like that with me. He felt I needed kindness, and didn't push. I was in denial though. I didn't know I fell in love with him with that duel. That the only person I would dream living my life with was him. He of course had no clue whatsoever and thought I still hated him."  
  
They stared at her in astonishment.  
  
"I think that's the first time you made such ...........," Hilde said.  
  
"Girl talk , romantic, stupid remark?" Dorothy said raising her eyebrows, which were normal now. She didn't need the look her odd shaped eyebrows gave her anymore.  
  
Hilde shrugged. "I guess you could say that. I mean in your situation at least Quatre felt something, enough to care you. Duo just treats me like I'm his sister or something. " Hilde threw that out casually, but everyone saw that the fact hurt her.  
  
Sally didn't talk at all. She was still raw from the situation with Wufei. It was so embarrassing, and didn't believe that she actually asked him. She been avoiding him all week. Sally was not the one to pour salt onto a open wound.  
  
[So what if I just don't want anybody else but you,  
  
So what if you're all I really wanna do,  
  
I know what you're thinkin' but that doesn't make it true . . .  
  
Believe me baby!!!]  
  
The stupid onna thought that he loved her. Well, that statement was an absolute lie. Still, if she believe that, he should correct her right? Wufei snorted. No way he was going up to an emotional female and tell her that. Disconcerted for a moment, he thought back to way Sally was avoiding him. No, not possible. Besides what should he care what that female thought? It wasn't like he really was in love with her or anything.  
  
[So if my heart just skips a beat,  
  
What if I lose a little sleep . . .  
  
Believe me!!!]  
  
The three gundam pilots who had the respective females worrying about them, thinking about them, wondering about them, especially in connection with a certain four letter word.  
  
Heero thought the whole thing was just a product of his overworked person, and the fact that he was still awake thinking about her smiles and such had nothing to do with anything.  
  
Duo was simply staring at the ceiling, reviving the memories of Maxwell church and Solo, trying to build a barrier, to keep from falling in love with her. Wait a minute, did he actually think that? Well, it was not the truth. There was no way he could possibly fall in love with Hilde Schbeiker.  
  
Wufei, well , Wufei was trying to do exercises with his katana, but his concentration was ruined by the image of honey blond hair.  
  
[I'm not in love,  
  
No not at all,  
  
What makes you think,  
  
You made me fall, I slip but no I'm not in love . . .]  
  
"Not in love, not in love, NOT IN LOVE!" The exact phrases were going through all three former gundam pilots heads.  
  
"Maybe I just feel more for her because she was the first person I met who had such ....affection for him even though he threaten to kill her. Yeah that was it." Heero thought to himself and tried to go to sleep.  
  
"We're simply friends. Okay maybe more than friends. But I'll get over it, it's not like it's love or anything. Just a simple infatuation.........yeah that's it," Duo thought.  
  
"Stupid Onna. Playing all these stupid games. A true warrior is to show no such feelings with anymore. Doesn't she know that I have shared more with her than any other woman? she is such a baka. But just like I was taught, I am not , cannot possibly be, in love with Sally Po." Wufei thought to him satisfactory.  
  
[What if I just can't sleep at night,  
  
I see your face in the starry skies,  
  
The way you feel,  
  
It makes it right,  
  
I'm not in love . . .]  
  
It was no use. Was he deluding himself? "I can' believe I'm actually doing this," Heero thought to himself the exact same time Wufei picked up the phone. There was a two way call to one Duo Maxwell. When they actually got through to each other without getting ridiculed every three seconds or getting death threats, everyone was moody and wished it each other luck. Heero went back to bed, remembering the time he slipped out of ZERO only to see her determined face. Duo dragged himself outside, and stared at the stars, remembering all the fun times, Hilde and him watched the stars. Wufei could not get a conversation he had with Sally out of his mind.  
  
"Wufei, do you ever wonder About out the stars?"  
  
"Why would I do such a thing?"  
  
"I don't know, but if you were given the moon and stars, would you give it up for anything?"  
  
"Utter nonsense. What would I do with a bunch of dust and habitations?"  
  
Wufei turned around and proceeded back to the house. But not before he heard Sally whisper something," I would give all that up for your love."  
  
No, he was just imagining things. He did not heard those words spoken by Sally Po.  
  
[I'm not in love,  
  
No not at all,  
  
What makes you think,  
  
You made me fall, I slip but no I'm not in love . . .]  
  
Heero stalked though the halls of the palace with only one destination in mind. He ignored the protesting secretary and burst through the doors of Relena's office.  
  
The room was empty.  
  
"Where is she? " he growled at the secretary.  
  
"I don't.....know" the security said nervously.  
  
That was it. He came here with good intentions and she wasn't here. Some hand of cards fate dealt him. But for the better, he supposed. He came dangerously close to finding the answer to a question buried deep in his mind.  
  
"Hilde, I was thinking...," started Duo but stopped talking at the sight of the empty kitchen. He hears a sound behind him and starts to whirl around. Slender arms locked around his waist prevent him from doing so. "Duo, when started to live together, I didn't need to know if you love me or not. I just content to stay by your side. But I knew there might be one day I will have to give it all up. "  
  
"Hilde, I....." Duo interjected  
  
She only hugged him tighter. "Don't say anything. Don't say anything."  
  
Duo felt his back grow wet. /She's crying........../  
  
He started to say the words that would make her stop and the world turned black.  
  
"Sorry, Duo. "  
  
  
  
Wufei opened the door of the office which he and Sally shared and started a tirade. "What's the meaning of this? You're resigning?"  
  
The room was empty, all its' contents cleared out.  
  
Wufei stilled.  
  
He walked back to their apartment.  
  
All her stuff was gone.  
  
Furious, Wufei immediately called Lady Une. "Where the hell is that onna?"  
  
Raising an eyebrow at the figure, she only replied that she did not know.  
  
He snarled and cut the connection.  
  
"Who needs the baka woman anyway?"  
  
  
  
Did they think it would last forever? Did they? Well serves them right. Denial is never a good thing in love. The three woman who left their respective places in the former gundam pilots lives and crease to exist to them. No matter how hard the three of them tried, the ex-pilots could never find them again.  
  
So listen well to the bitter-sweet truth. 


End file.
